My Biggest Fear!

It’s been observed that the biggest fear of human beings is death. Without ever reading it somewhere I must have known it. My everyday life has told a lot, the same message. I can see everywhere, from bottom to up of social strata, anywhere in Indonesia. I wonder why all of human beings find death so dreadful, while to some extents they find life so difficult to live. I haven’t dug the right soil to find what the right answer is. It’s too complicated; the riches who have abundant luxurious stuff and the poor who have nothing but friends (of course the former also have friends), have one thing in common, that is fear of death. Why??

However, not to be so presumptuous, so far death is not my biggest fear, even though I realize that I won’t see my family and friends again if I die. What my brain and my heart can think of and feel is fear of losing my idealism over something, like money. What my idealism for sure is, however, I can’t tell since I still look for it; sometimes I still perceive something different depending on who or what.

But one thing for sure right now that I can think of is I don’t want to lose my idealism, which I can’t tell, over money. I know someday I don’t know where this precious thing is; I know that it’s said that when you are 40, you are still concerning others, you have no brain assumed you already have your own family, because your own family is more precious than others; I know that if you care for others does not mean that they will care for you, and it would be moron to have faith in opposite way.

However, I like being a distinguished person; I like being different which I think it’s the coolest thing in the world so that I want to keep my faith in this whole doctrine that you should care for others, no matter what without being so foolish and not to suppress the urge to do so. I don’t want to become hypocrite, though, like my seniors, friends, and colleagues. I don’t want to hide behind the mask of doing generous things expecting praise while I do nothing but lie.

As for me, idealism is what makes a person a person, no matter what it is….That’s why I would keep this as long as I live…