Sunday, December 6, 2009

I don't want to walk while sleeping...


There is always one short phrase that I always remember from ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’: ..kebanyakan dari kita melakukan sesuatu dengan setengah sadar, seperti berjalan sambil tidur..That is more or less what I can recall. It’s not this short phrase being right or wrong, but the point is that we must fully sober when we are to make decisions, especially about something that there is a good chance we will do for the rest of our lives. In the case of my present life, it is my job.

I by all means agree to it and decided to follow it. I got a golden opportunity to work with the second most powerful person in this country just after I graduated. I was very happy and, not to be naïve, a little proud. But the most essential thing is not that I could sit in the same room and listen to him talking. It is the chance to learn from the real policy makers and visit such beautiful places. I might have never dreamed of putting my feet on the magnificent Banda Naira or Merauke and having some conversations with boys living there, contemplating why the socio-economic condition is like this and that.

Nevertheless, I realize that it is not one of my goals, not in my early career. The required capabilities are yet to come. Indeed, it will not come if I am still there by now. I don’t want to be the person Professor Morrie talks about. I insist on being a person to walk his life soberly, not caused by temporary pride but lasting regrets. However, what I can remember up to now is that I do not remember having some regrets to have worked for my nation (almost) directly.