Just a Scramble Idea..

I was initially and am still attracted to macroeconomics and other big economics stuff. However, overtime I was also absorbed by behavioral economics and, to some extent, development economics. In the field of behavioral economics, I have always been intrigued by causes of people's actions and how economics can decipher it in simple ways. This has been partly triggered by my deep interest in philosophy. Even so, I was never thinking of getting serious in conducting research in such fields.

My biggest desire is to conduct research which can explain a classic problem, how nations can grow significantly and how the spectacular growth rates can grease the wheel of developments, as well. Recently, I am particularly interested in the topics of measurement of welfare beyond GDP. I have not been acquainted well enough, though, to find an interesting research topic. In fact, there has not been sufficient development in research exploring the proper set of measurement. GDP is still the champion, as for now.

Anyway, there is actually one research topic that can close the knit together: consumption behavior of people. This topic can be a research topic of behavioral economics and growth and development economics. The consumption theory is my holy grail to attain. I am always curious on how consumption behavior differs or resembles across countries. What are the determinants of it? Is it government policy, education level attainment, or culture? However, I am still not on the ground on cultural argument thing. On one side, I believe that cultural values play important role in shaping habits of people in doing things, including their consumption patterns. On the other side, my economic knowledge teaches me that people are highly likely to be affected by incentives or disincentives. If people in one country are affected by a bundle of above determinants, therefore the consumption aggregates of a country. As such bundle differs among countries, therefore their consumption and saving aggregates and, to large extent, their welfare level.

I have several more ideas to explore in my mind, but I will definitely explore these topics in my further study. In the meantime, I will just have to rekindle my interest and brush up my mathematics skills.

Unlike others', this is my choice and my way..

Yeah, I admit I did not conquer my fear..I was naive that I waited till I got a new place to work for..Nonetheless, I felt pretty satisfied that I could survive my time there, considering tough times facing pressures and high expectation, sometimes my supervisors' getting furious against very simple mistake..

This very first class experience gives me something worthy taking notes about: sometimes one's desire to give contribution to his nation requires no working in departments in the government, not even in the office of the second most powerful person in the country..unlike others who worship this ridiculous fanaticism, I guess one can work anywhere, given one's heart is truly with his country..

This is my life, I determine my destiny; hence, when I feel something terrible in place where I thought I can contribute much, I move..Just as simple as that..But, deep down in my heart, I really love my country that's why I always aim excellency in my future work that it can benefit further development of my country..

Beat Your Fear!

A few months ago, I remember watching an episode of Friends, which has now been a regular activity of mine every night, in which one of the characters is deadly bored at her job and her friend suggests that she needs to quit the job and do what she really likes. He says that she needs to conquer her fear.

She takes the challenge, but I don't think I can defeat my fear just yet and leave it behind and go for my dream job even though I don't think I could get it since the institution I aim for is dying from severe shortage of fund..

Here I am walking through ladders of life which might have some traps on it but I do believe I can shout as loud as I can releasing my brood when I am already at the top..

As for now, I will be only savoring this time..

One Step is done, So many left!

Last week I have officially accomplished my mission in FEUI..
Despite deep disappointment, I learned to be thankful to God for what I have done..
What I learned is that I have never learned and I think it's time to learn for my long-term objective..

Well, sometimes what you really expect doesn't come just that way..Sometimes you are just
foolish enough to think you just have it in your hands but then it flies to nowhere..
Anyway, I just wanna think that anything that doesn't make you die will only make you stronger...

And I will be...

The Most Painful Torture

I suppose most people in the world must have thought how they regret letting time fly without doing something avail and I bet this must have been one of the most painful tortures they ever got in their lives. I have several time pondered how fool persons who can't attain the similar excellence to their peers. Because you know what? All people in the world are confined to 24 hours a day, every day until the Almighty God recalls them. This thing kind of reminds me of Lincoln's words "It's not how many years you live, but how you live years in your life" even though this contrasts with words of Russel (if I'm not mistaken) : "When you feel happy wasting your time, then it's not wasting your time, at all."

What do you think, folks? Have you put 'wasting time' thing in a box named 'my most painful tortures'? I used to think such thing, but apparently it had changed. I just threw it away of my most precious box because you know what? I think regretting things that won't be back does really give you a major setback.

Recently, one human disaster, so to speak, shocked me and just refined me up that the most painful torture in my life would be when you can't do something to help others who are powerless'...You can't do anything but sit comfortably watching others crying because their dwellings got swept away by something very unexpected before...because their family members had to go to the eternal land when they thought the time had been yet to come...

From now on I will put it in my sacred box, but not for too long...because it means I am happy to see it in the box, staying covered with dust in a very long time; I am proud of myself when I can't do anything....I feel very ashamed as a human being, how do you feel, guys?? Don't you feel the same way I feel, yes?

What Would Jesus Do?

Saya percaya kepada Jesus sebagai Tuhan saya...meskipun saya sering kali meragukan agama kristen ataupun yang berhubungan dengan ketuhanan...dan sering kali melanggar peraturan yang Dia tetapkan....But still, I believe that God does exist..and I choose Jesus as my God, even though I am not capable of knowing how many God exist...

Anyway, my point here is I suppose the biggest question that remains the biggest mystery in this world is "what would Jesus do". It goes beyond Human's imagination, anyone...You will never know whether He would grant our requests or not; He would give us the biggest misery or bless, instead...

You will never know....until anytime...

House is Baaack!

The sick bastard, yet super genius is back...The man of his own god, the man who doesn't take it everything for granted, the man who thinks every single thing is possible to happen, the man who, to some degree, doesn't think that his patients worth not more than mere dazzling puzzles...

To be honest, this controversial man is kind of my role model to some extent....His moral message is something like this: there is nothing exact in this world, even God...But, for this God thing, I believe in my God, not to an extent a religion as religion is just a moral guidelines for this life on earth....

13 Biggest Questions in My Life By Far

As Descartes said that cogito ergo sum, that is “I think, therefore I exist”. Why thinking came up to surface? It’s because I feel something odd or curious. I, as a normal human being must have questions in my head, even every second, ranging from the most trivial to complicated ones. Here are the most perplexing questions I have found in my life by far, that are yet to be solved due to its being beyond imagination:
1. If Jesus is said to be sent or, say, created(no?) by Allah, His holy Father, thus who gave life to Allah?
2. Why did Allah create this world and then sent Jesus to this world just to save us (according to Christian bible)? Why did He not just let human beings live in Heaven, instead of in this world? Is it like a game or something?
3. Do heaven and hell exist? Or only heaven which does exist? Or the hell, instead?
4. Does the bible reflect the whole truth?
5. Why did Allah let various religions exist? Why not only Christian?
6. Why does Allah let persons that hesitate His existence remain to live and which most of them are the most brilliant human beings?
7. Where am I if I was not born in this world?
8. What is the general meaning of life in this world since I can’t digest why Allah created this life?
9. Why most Christians would urge going to church every week, while they can praise Allah every single second in their lives? Why do they condemn other Christians who do not go to church regularly as bad persons?
10. When would Indonesia thrive so that Indonesia can sit in the same table with US, Japan, and other G-8 countries, China, India, and Brazil, talking the same topic but with defiance when Indonesia is not agreed to the agreement?
11. When would Indonesian politicians not think about their own interests, while Indonesia is experiencing turmoil or crises?
12. When would Indonesian people stop feeling proud in excessive ways just using other countries’ technology as if Indonesia that invented it?
13. When would Indonesian people stop thinking about Globalization as the sole culprit of this stagnancy situation facing now, instead of the government and they themselves?

I would be so pleased if you bite my tongue coming up with extremely unexpected answers...

It’s Like Bambang Pamungkas Moving to Manchester United?

One of my highest-ever goals in my life is to continue my study to one of the top schools in economics in US, of course by getting scholarship. But, for a while I can’t keep thinking about the clean path to get into this school. How? I think it’s so difficult to get it because perhaps I am not a great student compared to other foreign students who have the same aims as me; I study in University of Indonesia which is relatively not well-known among other top universities in the world, which is an essential factor.

I can make analogy of this me getting into top school is like Bambang Pamungkas, which is one of the best of the best players in Indonesia, moving to Manchester United, which is one of the biggest club on earth.

And yet, I want to assure myself by upbringing possibility making analogy like Hidetoshi Nakata moving to AS Roma at that time so that I can have a little bit optimism…hahaha

My Biggest Fear!

It’s been observed that the biggest fear of human beings is death. Without ever reading it somewhere I must have known it. My everyday life has told a lot, the same message. I can see everywhere, from bottom to up of social strata, anywhere in Indonesia. I wonder why all of human beings find death so dreadful, while to some extents they find life so difficult to live. I haven’t dug the right soil to find what the right answer is. It’s too complicated; the riches who have abundant luxurious stuff and the poor who have nothing but friends (of course the former also have friends), have one thing in common, that is fear of death. Why??

However, not to be so presumptuous, so far death is not my biggest fear, even though I realize that I won’t see my family and friends again if I die. What my brain and my heart can think of and feel is fear of losing my idealism over something, like money. What my idealism for sure is, however, I can’t tell since I still look for it; sometimes I still perceive something different depending on who or what.

But one thing for sure right now that I can think of is I don’t want to lose my idealism, which I can’t tell, over money. I know someday I don’t know where this precious thing is; I know that it’s said that when you are 40, you are still concerning others, you have no brain assumed you already have your own family, because your own family is more precious than others; I know that if you care for others does not mean that they will care for you, and it would be moron to have faith in opposite way.

However, I like being a distinguished person; I like being different which I think it’s the coolest thing in the world so that I want to keep my faith in this whole doctrine that you should care for others, no matter what without being so foolish and not to suppress the urge to do so. I don’t want to become hypocrite, though, like my seniors, friends, and colleagues. I don’t want to hide behind the mask of doing generous things expecting praise while I do nothing but lie.

As for me, idealism is what makes a person a person, no matter what it is….That’s why I would keep this as long as I live…